Post 9: Script Workshop 2

My group and I, after a lot of debating about improving and removing are almost close to finishing our script for Behind Blue Eyes. There were quite a few changes we had to make to get to the almost complete stage of our script, however the group and I believe after all the drafts it will hopefully improve not only the storyline but making sure we show the characters relationships and identity.

We decided to improve and develop on the relationship between Alan and Sophie and get across how long Alan had been grooming Sophie for, yet we tried to keep the audience guessing about the relationship so tried not to make it as obvious as before. We included subtle hints about the relationship with suggestive touches and body language as well as supportive and suggestive dialogue. We tried to make it simple and not include graphical scenes in the hopes of keeping the audience entertained and guessing instead of the possibility of them figuring out the storyline which would make the short film rather boring and slightly vexing.

We decided to edit the language used by both of the girls as my group and I believed that two teenage girls would not converse in such a mature manner, therefore we altered the language and put a few shortened and 'slang' words in. We wanted the dialogue between the two to appear as real as possible and from experience young teenage girls would not talk to one another in the same way adults do. Hopefully this change will make it more realistic for our audience as well as easier for our actors as it would seem more natural. 

We also wanted to continue the storyline and introduce more stages of sexual grooming, the reasoning behind this is we wanted the audience to see exactly what groomer's will do just to get close to their victims and by doing this we might help the audience see what happens in a real case situation which could affect them or someone they know.

We are close to finishing our script, we just need to receive some feedback from our target audience in case certain things need changing or if there are ways we can improve it.