Post 10: Script Feedback

My group and I had one last process to go through before officially finishing our script; we had to ask our target audience for feedback. We had to gather a random selection of people who fit into our target audience and ask them various questions concerning our storyline as well as letting them read the script for themselves and enquiring about their opinion. Our reasoning behind this is due to it benefiting us in the long run, if our target audience don’t enjoy a certain scene or maybe they don’t like some of the dialogue then we are able to change it before it is too late. Of course after receiving our feedback we as a group debated once more over the comments and made sure to take note and consider all of our feedback which could in the long run affect the successfulness of our short film.

One of the points that our audience told us we needed to consider was the ending, we were told we should include something that the audience wouldn't expect. They told us they would expect Sophie to eventually come forward and tell the police so we needed to figure out a way of surprising the audience yet keep to a realistic plot line. We as a group thought of various things including leaving the script on a cliffhanger and instead of Alan being caught we would let him walk free. However we thought that it would be unfair to the audience if there was no justice for Sophie. This meant we added Alan's last piece of dialogue of "But Paige never complained" leaving the audience guessing about the relationship between Alan and his daughter.

Another point made was that some of the dialogue used needed to be changed to match the characteristics and background story of our characters. Some of the dialogue both the girls and Alan were using did not sound correct, with the girls sounding more mature beyond their years and Alan using language that our target audience struggled understanding. We as a group went through the script and made sure to edit any necessary language to ensure our script was understandable and better suited to our characters.I believe my group and I made the necessary improvements in order to produce a good short film that our target audience will hopefully enjoy judging by the feedback we were given. 

My group and I were fortunate enough to also have our script read and reviewed by a BBC Script writer called Dudi Appleton (Here is a link to information about him http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0032425/)who suggested the script needed to create more questions in the audience's minds as initially the plot's outcome was apparent. From this feedback I altered some of the dialogue and actions of the characters including the subtlety of the relationship between Alan and Sophie. We did this by taking out some of the winks or suggestive and possible innuendo dialogue, as well as making Sophie appear younger in comparison to Alan by her choice of words when sending a text message or email, also by her use of language. 

Dudi's overall feedback was that the script was extremely well written we just needed to improve; the subtlety of the relationship, he mentioned the importance of setting up constant questions in the audience's mind to keep the audience guessing so they wanted to find out more - which could be difficult with the voice over and add more detail to the plot line as it was too much like a story. In order to achieve this Dudi Appleton suggested my group and I should create a list of questions that we would pose throughout the script such as; who is leading who on? Are we imagining this? Is the daughter aware? We took Dudi Appleton's feedback in to consideration and we believe we have effectively used his criticism to improve our script even further. We hope this could be the making of a great short film. The image above shows the feedback we had back from Dudi Appleton.

Post 9: Script Workshop 2

My group and I, after a lot of debating about improving and removing are almost close to finishing our script for Behind Blue Eyes. There were quite a few changes we had to make to get to the almost complete stage of our script, however the group and I believe after all the drafts it will hopefully improve not only the storyline but making sure we show the characters relationships and identity.

We decided to improve and develop on the relationship between Alan and Sophie and get across how long Alan had been grooming Sophie for, yet we tried to keep the audience guessing about the relationship so tried not to make it as obvious as before. We included subtle hints about the relationship with suggestive touches and body language as well as supportive and suggestive dialogue. We tried to make it simple and not include graphical scenes in the hopes of keeping the audience entertained and guessing instead of the possibility of them figuring out the storyline which would make the short film rather boring and slightly vexing.

We decided to edit the language used by both of the girls as my group and I believed that two teenage girls would not converse in such a mature manner, therefore we altered the language and put a few shortened and 'slang' words in. We wanted the dialogue between the two to appear as real as possible and from experience young teenage girls would not talk to one another in the same way adults do. Hopefully this change will make it more realistic for our audience as well as easier for our actors as it would seem more natural. 

We also wanted to continue the storyline and introduce more stages of sexual grooming, the reasoning behind this is we wanted the audience to see exactly what groomer's will do just to get close to their victims and by doing this we might help the audience see what happens in a real case situation which could affect them or someone they know.

We are close to finishing our script, we just need to receive some feedback from our target audience in case certain things need changing or if there are ways we can improve it.

Post 8: Script Workshop 1

We were given the brief to produce a short film for this year's Media Studies coursework. We as a group believed we had a strong and original plot -focused on sexual grooming which is an uncommon plot line in films, from our AS opening sequence and we wanted to develop it further. My group and I whilst researching sexual grooming last year came up with various ideas on how we would extend the opening sequence and were   disappointed we could not do so, as we believed it had the chance to become a great short feature film. We took the brief this year as an opportunity to do just that and to explore more into sexual grooming and the relationship between the characters Alan and Sophie. 

The image to the left shows various scenes from the first script we drafted together with obvious annotation and cuts made to better our script. The first draft of our script included several errors and many mistakes which, of course was going to happen in the first draft, there was no avoiding that. Luckily because my group and I were using the basis of the storyline from our AS project, we had an idea of what we wanted our short film to be about.This of course meant there was a lot of discussion about the script, from what we wanted to happen and where we wanted to take it, to how we would make an obvious time jump and anything else that could cause a problem or confusion to the audience. 


My group and I believed it would be a good idea if we all took responsibility for the script and wrote our own selected scenes. By doing this I believe we were all able to help shape the characters and put our own ideas across and contribute. We then put together the script with the various scenes from each other and discussed what needed to be improved, what we all agreed worked and what we would cut and of course what we needed to add. Through out our discussions we always made sure that we kept the characters in our mind as we needed them to be as realistic as possible especially with our chosen topic and making our target audience believe the situation. Due to this we made sure the girl being groomed was a school girl, who would be groomed by her best friend's father whom she had known almost all her life.

Writing the first draft of a script isn't the easiest thing, you have to be creative, a team player as well as independent and make sure your ideas fit the situation. These can be very difficult things to do however I believe our group handled it well and it was an opportunity to show just how well we could work together in a team. 

Post 7: Research short films

I wanted to achieve a better understanding of the use of editing techniques current short film makers were using. I decided the best way to do this was to analyse an existing short film and take notes on the techniques used.

The short film I decided to analyse was: The Promise by Sam Molleur

A five year promise between friends leads them to explore the darker sides of their personality.

I find the use of editing in the promise rather interesting as hard cuts are frequently used to build up tension for the audience as the film progresses. I believe this is very effective during the conversation between the two men when shot reverse shot is used as it keeps the film flowing and the audience interested. The editing in this film is very simple using hard cuts to create tension and a fast pace for the audience to go with the plot line of the film. There is also cleverly done match on action whilst the friend fire's the gun at the mugger, this along with the hard cuts portray the now murderer as strong and powerful.

I found this short film on : http://www.shortoftheweek.com/
But it can also be found here : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yYTY3BGr5A

Post 6: Media Language - Editing

Film Editing : Editing is the process of taking chosen material (footage) and arranging it to form a coherent finished product.
When it comes to film making editing is a vital part of the process and it's key that my group and I pay close attention on how to edit so that when the time finally does come, we are able to create a film to the best of our abilities. There are various effects that can be used whilst editing, below are a few examples of effects and how they came to be used.


Kuleshov Effect : The Kuleshov Effect is a film editing effect demonstrated by Russian filmmaker Lev Kuleshov in the 1910's and 1920's. 
Kuleshov edited together a short film in which a shot of an expressionless face of a man was alternated with various other shots; a plate of soup, a girl in a coffin, and a woman. The film was shown to an audience who believed that the expression on the man's face was different each time he appeared, depending on whether he was "looking at" the plate of soup, the girl in the coffin, or the woman, showing an expression of either hunger, grief or desire. Kuleshov used the experiment to explain the usefulness and effectiveness of film editing. He discovered that viewers brought their own emotional reactions to this sequence, and then attributed those reactions to the actor, investing his impassive face with their own feelings. I believe we can incorporate the Kuleshov Effect into our short film by using Alan's expressionless face in the swimming pool alternated with various shots of Sophie. This could help the portrayal of their relationship and make the audience connect emotionally to the characters, it could also help with them figuring out exactly what Alan and Sophie are.

Below is a film showing the Kuleshov Effect.

Montage (filmmaking): A Montage is a technique in film editing in which a series of short shots are edited into a sequence to condense space, time and information.
A Montage can also be a series of unrelated shots that leave the audience to figure out the meaning and connect the importance of the shots. Though a Montage is usually used to suggest the passage of time rather then hold any symbolic meaning. We hope to use more then one Montage in our short film in the hopes of cutting time, yet presenting the audience with the key information for them to guess about Alan and Sophie's relationship. One key Montage will be when we incorporate the Kuleshov Effect during a scene when Alan is with the girls at the swimming gala. We hope to present the audience with the knowledge of exactly how long Alan and Sophie have known one another and how close they've become in the last few months. This will hopefully explain to the audience the nature of the relationship and the possible changes it has had in the past months, as well as connect the audience to the pair emotionally and keep them guessing about the relationship.

Edwin Porter: Was an American early film pioneer, most famous as a director with Thomas Edison's company. His most famous films include, Life of an American Fireman (1902) and The Great Train Robbery (1903).Although his significance as director of The Great Train Robbery and other innovative early films is undeniable, he rarely repeated an innovation after he had used it successfully, never developed a consistent directorial style. Edwin Porter is still remembered as an important figure in motion picture history. As an early filmmaker he took ideas from others, but instead of just copying films he tried to improve on what he had borrowed. In "Life of an American Fireman" Porter created dissolves, the technique helped audiences follow complex outdoor movement. In his next film "The Great Train Robbery" the one reel film, with a running time of twelve minutes, was assembled in twenty separate shots, along with a startling close-up of a bandit firing at the camera. It was ground breaking in its use of jump cuts, cross cutting, and panning shots. No earlier film had created such swift movement or variety of scene.

French New Wave: The New Wave was a term used by critics for a group of French filmmakers of the later 1950's and 1960's.  Many also engaged in their work with the social and political upheavals of the era, making their radical experiments with editing, visual style and narrative part of a general break with the conservative paradigm. Filming techniques included fragmented, discontinuous editing, and long takes as well as a clear contrast between black and white featuring natural lighting. The combination of objective realism, subjective realism, and authorial commentary created a narrative ambiguity in the sense that questions that arise in a film are not answered in the end. The new flexible and creative New Wave showed alternative framing and the release of the camera from a tripod, giving it a more documentary and realistic look and feel.